{"id":1184,"date":"2009-10-13T15:02:39","date_gmt":"2009-10-13T13:02:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/?p=1184"},"modified":"2009-10-16T22:12:50","modified_gmt":"2009-10-16T20:12:50","slug":"the-sexless-innkeeper-poem-video","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/?p=1184","title":{"rendered":"The sexless innkeeper &#8211; Poem &#038; Video"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">Twas the night before New Years<br \/>\nand the weather grew mean<br \/>\nIt was three in the morning<br \/>\nand I was stranded in Queens!<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">The tavern grew empty<br \/>\nthe gaslights grew dim<br \/>\nthe horse-drawn carriages<br \/>\nwere all but snowed in.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">Last call was approaching<br \/>\nand my fortunes looked bleak<br \/>\nthen I turned to my left<br \/>\nand stifled a shriek.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">She had a peach fuzz beard<br \/>\nand weighed sixteen stone<br \/>\nShe gobbled up hot wings<br \/>\nand swallowed the bones.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">I muffled a scream<br \/>\nand threw up in my mouth<br \/>\nI asked, \u201cwhere do you live?\u201d<br \/>\nand she said, \u201cone block south.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">I swallowed my pride<br \/>\nand six shots of whiskey<br \/>\nand prayed to the gods<br \/>\nthat she wasn\u2019t too frisky<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">Back in her cave<br \/>\nShe prepared us a snack<br \/>\n\u2018neath her mighty hooves<br \/>\nthe floorboards did crack.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: left; margin: 0px;\">But when she returned<br \/>\nshe found a sound sleeper<br \/>\nand thus she became<br \/>\nthe sexless innkeeper.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p style=\"padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 10px; padding-left: 0px; text-align: center; margin: 0px;\"><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>[youtube ll4FIG-EBGk 320 240]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Twas the night before New Years and the weather grew mean It was three in the morning and I was stranded in Queens! The tavern grew empty the gaslights grew dim the horse-drawn carriages were all but snowed in. Last call was approaching and my fortunes looked bleak then I turned to my left and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[655,652,651,654,653,421],"class_list":["post-1184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1","tag-barney-stinson","tag-himym","tag-how-i-met-your-mother","tag-poem","tag-sexless-innkeeper","tag-video"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1184"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1184\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nodch.de\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}